AS I sit here waiting for my flight in the ever so tiny Burlington
airport (it’s 4 hours late…. more on my trip home in another post) I decided to
take some time to reflect on the last 8 weeks.
A warning right up front, I have not used English for 2 months now and
it is surprisingly difficult to adapt back to using it. I have decided to break it into four related
and linked, but distinct areas of discussion: the program at the Russian
School, my new observations about people, some observations about Vermont and
final about Russian language itself. I
apologize for the length, but it has been a long summer, and I have a lot to
say now that I can do so in English!
On Русская Школа (Russian
School)
For those of you who I talked to over the past few months, and I bet a
few more of you may have guessed it, Russian school was not one of the best
times of my life. I will start off by
freely and openly admitting that where it not for the Katherine Davis Fellowship
for Peace Scholarship through MIIS (covering my tuition, room and board for the
summer I would not have gone. The famous
(or dare I say infamous) “Middlebury Way” of studying language involves
absolute immersion in the language and disallows English in all but a few
situations. This frankly terrified me
before I started, frustrated me to no end, but as of a few hours ago I get it. It is essential to speak the language every
day, to need to find words for common situations that would never come up in a
normal class. The point is to think in
the language, to dream in the language, and really to live it. They say that it is more immersive than many
programs in Russian, and that is true in my close. The first night with the pledge was like an
absurdist paly, the first week a nightmare, the first month an annoyance, the
second month a challenge but in the end a blessing. As of this moment, I speak better Russian
than I ever have and feel comfortable starting a conversation with a native
speaker without fear of embarrassment.
I also wanted to add a bit on the language Pledge and reality. The idea of “No English Spoken Here” is
laudable but unrealistic. First of all
it is impossible to explain grammar like a “past passive participle” in class
without using English. Of course you
have to use dictionaries and books with English in class and homework, and this
is always a permitted exception. However
every day in class our teachers would speak English, I don’t begrudge them for
this, and it was needed, but it is not to the letter of the law of the
pledge. Another issue is that of
entrainment. There are many hours in a
day, and even though I had 4-5 hours of class a day, 3-4 of homework, club
meetings, movies, meals, parties and games, there is still down time. In that time it becomes very difficult to
find distraction with Russian. You can
find movies online, but that is not always the best way to spend a full
day. There are Russian news sites, but
reading them is tantamount to homework (and in fact was homework many
times). I could try reading Russian
books but again that is not down time.
The most troubling issue is the sense of isolation that it forces onto
students. I have a wonderful network of
people to help and always support me, but the language pledge cut me off from
them in the time where I needed it most.
A time of lots of studying, high stress and all the new school
difficulties, it suddenly becomes impossible to talk with the people best equip
to help me cope. While my fellow
students were wonderful (more on that bellow) nothing replaces my old network
of people who I can be 100% open with and will have my back and be there when I
need them. It also cut me off from the
majority of US news, new US music I wanted to listen to and new movies I wanted
to see. This might not seem that hard,
but it starts to pile up, and gets extremely frustrating in a time of high
stress. I will admit here and now that
more than once I broke the pledge when I could not take it any more: 30 min on
the NYT website here, an occasional text exchange with people from home. I know I am not alone in this, but think that
while it would be officially frowned upon no one would say it was the wrong
thing to do.
I also had some frustrations with the running of the school. At times it seemed to me that some of the
staff where more interested in it as a Russian Social club, and a place for
their kids to run around all summer and less on the students. This of course does not apply to some of the
excellent staff who always where around at meals and outside to talk. Many activities ran without commentary or a
lesson about what was going on, it just simply occurred. I think more student feedback, control and
input would be welcome, as well as more focus on the students being Americans
than the staff being Russians. Of course
there were many wonderful moments, many great nights, fun meetings, close
football matches, a play, a choir show, making movies, watching movies and the
simple moment where we successfully had profound conversations without the need
to consult a textbook or dictionary. I
lived for those moments and they made the time there livable and in rare
moments enjoyable.
On People
I am sure many of you have heard me say this before, but it bears
repeating: “I like Persons, I don’t like People.” However I may have found an exception
here. I have never been associated with
any somewhat random group of people from which I could always walk up to
someone and start a conversation.
Granted I liked some people more than others, talked with some more than
others, and preferred to spend time with some over others. While of course there is a huge self-selection
process here (it is a rare student who wants to spend 9,000 for 8 weeks of
painfully non-ending studies) and also the group was limited to those
interested in Russian language, Russian politics, Russian history, Russian
literature ect.
As one professor very accurately said one day at lunch, “there are no
bad students here, you have to be a serious student to come here” (that is of
course a translation not a direct quote).
This would explain why I was always able to talk to people, and never
had a dull conversation. I am sure there
is a term for this from sociology, but as I disagree with that discipline’s
very existence, I will not try to find it. I am glad to have met people there, and I
honestly believe that our paths will cross again at some point, in Russia or in
DC. If you are reading this, stay in
touch guys!
On Vermont
Having never been to Vermont before, I was not really sure what to
expect once I got here. I expected it to
be a “normal” place just with more trees, cows and farms than the standard OC
suburb. Of course I know about the
regional differences in the US, but not having any experience with New England
beyond a weeklong trip years ago I was not sure. This is a small state, very small. Middlebury is number 20 on their most
populated cities with 8,000 people. Their main highway is one lane each way. I have seen exactly one stoplight in the
whole state.
What I did like is their intensively partisan “made in Vermont, grown
in Vermont” movement. I had some very
good meals made of 100% Vermont products.
People here love nature, their New England stoicism and their traditions. It is a beautiful place, very welcoming and
not for me! Goodbye Vermont, it has been fun, and I don’t think we will ever
meet again!
On Russian
The whole point of being here was of course to learn Russian, and that
I did! In the beginning it was very
frustrating since I had not studied Russian for a year and a half and while I
still remembered words and phrases, my writing and especially grammar skills
had atrophied. I started out in one
course, but soon got lost as we learned new material while they assumed I had
not forgotten the old. This resulted in
a very unpleasant week, and even more unpleasant test, after which I moved to a
lower level. I that class I found a
home, while most of the curriculum was material what I had done already, it was
a wonderful review. Additionally, I was
able to focus on new concepts more fully, and really learn the parts I had
missed. We had three instructors and
they all did a wonderful job pushing us while also knowing our limits and what
we could and could not do. The newest
thing for me was the 400 word essays every week. 400 words is not much (1/5 the number in this
post), but in Russian that is a lot. A
few were on silly themes like “home of your dreams” but I also had the chance
to do serious topics and even a presentation on my favorite Russian city. The course served me well, I am happy with my
grades, very happy with my new language level and my oral and written placement
exams in Monterey will not be an issue!
Today feel comfortable using Russian in many situations where before I
would have been lost, I have developed “circumlocution” skills (working around
words/grammar you don’t know) and am finally comfortable with the complex
nature of Russian cases, tenses and its’ tricky verbs. The language pledge with all Russian all the
time served me well, plus always having a professor around the corner to answer
a question or to help you though lunch conversation is a very unique situation.
Avoiding conversations where both
participants need a dictionary is a huge plus as well. Too often language
classes are more concerned with “how you say it” not “what you say”. By having to live with the language, and
possessing my normal urge to express complex thoughts, opinions, and yes to lecture,
I overcame this. I got to the point
where I can think in Russian without going through English to express simple
and even some complex thoughts and opinions.
The pinnacle was when I could discuss politics, philosophy or other
“real life” topics in Russian, in the same manner they would occur in Russian.
In the hours since I have left, I have realized that I will literally
need to readjust to speaking English now.
Words like “yes,” “no,” “please,” “excuse me,” I now automatically
respond to in Russian. But even more
complex constructions like “after that,” for example,” I do not know,” and many
others I have to cut off the Russian word before I can say the correct English
one. This is crazy to me, and won’t last
long, but it has proved to me that this whole process works. I eagerly await my
first Russian class at MIIS to compare myself to my fellow students, and I think
I can finally prove to myself that my hard work will pay off.
I have 3-4 more semesters of Russian class ahead of me, and while I
will never be fluent (nor do I seek to be) I hope to have a consistent and
lasting grasp on the language as it will be a professional and personal asset
for the rest of my life.
------------
It is a bit crazy to say this, but as much as I despised specific
moments, as frustrated as I got and wanted to go home, I am glad I came
here. I learned a lot about Russian,
more about people and about myself and what I am capable of and what my limits
are. I don’t think I would go back, but
I would do it again if given the chance to relive this summer.
For those of you still reading, good for you! I know this has been a long post, and
probably should have been more than one, but I needed to get this down in words
before I move on to my next bigger and better experience (plus had a lot of
waiting time and little to do). As always, when I finish one adventure I have
another lined up, no this one is a little too close for comfort. Monday Aug 20, I start at the Monterrey
Institute and a new chapter of my life.
More on that later!! Once again I
am and I shall always remain….
Matt
